Monday, October 15, 2012

Birthday Bash!

Hello to everyone! I thought we might take some time today to recognize a man who has been dead for a couple thousand years - Virgil.

Looking quite spry for a man of 2,082.
He was born today in 70 B.C. somewhere in Gaul, if local legend is to be trusted. He was pretty much your average Roman dude: drinking wine, studying law, studying philosophy, writing poetry.....
You might recognize him from his marginally famous epic poem the Aeneid, which followed the founding of Rome by Trojan War survivor Aeneas. Maybe you've heard of it; it's been sold for over two millenia and will continue to be as long as it is required for all students to read before they graduate (usually in accompaniment with Homer or Sophocles or even Snooki's A Shore Thing).
Right up there with Poe and Dickens, everybody.
At any rate, Virgil was wildly popular, his books making the emperor Augustus's sister Octavia collapse from the drama of it all mid-story. I'm not kidding. Apparently she was passed out for so long that the emperor and Virgil thought it would be funny to paint a picture for posterity.
"She passed out, bro! Gimme five!"
Even after his death in 19 B.C. Virgil still had a busy and successful afterlife, his tomb said to work miracles and attracting pilgrims from all over the Roman empire. He also made a cameo as Dante's guide through hell and half of Purgatory in Dante's Inferno, which was another hugely successful book.
He would be the man on the right, calmly watching Dante drag a damned soul by the hair out of the ice it's trapped in.
Anyways, happy birthday, Virgil! Congrats on making it to 2,082 - go enjoy a glass of wine and celebrate your success.
Haters gonna hate.

No comments:

Post a Comment